Coercive Control: Proving It and Getting Protection

Part of: Domestic Abuse and Child Contact: Current Law

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that someone uses to dominate, frighten or isolate a partner, ex-partner or relative. In England and Wales it can be a criminal offence, and the family court treats it as domestic abuse. It can happen with no physical violence at all. Our non-molestation order specialists assist and advise people who are living with it, or who have just left. This page covers the law of England and Wales.

Reviewed by: Hannah Overton, Complex Children Specialist & Client Support, Kabir Family Law

If you are in danger now, call 999. If you cannot speak on a mobile, press 55 when prompted and the call goes to the police. Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline is free, confidential and open 24 hours on 0808 2000 247. Men can also call the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327. In Wales, the Live Fear Free helpline is funded by the Welsh Government and open 24 hours. If someone checks your phone, read this page on a device they cannot see.

What is coercive control?

The law calls it “controlling or coercive behaviour”, although most people simply call it control. In children cases, the family court follows Practice Direction 12J, which gives two working definitions.

• Coercive behaviour means acts of assault, threats, humiliation or intimidation that someone uses to harm, punish or frighten you.
• Controlling behaviour means acts designed to make you dependent on the other person. For example, they cut you off from support, take your money, remove your means to escape and rule your daily life.

Each act on its own can look small, such as a remark about your clothes or a question about where you went. The harm comes from the pattern, because it wears down your confidence and your freedom over time. For that reason, a family judge looks at the whole picture rather than one incident at a time. Our guide to Practice Direction 12J explains the wider rules the court follows.

Signs and examples of coercive control

The examples of coercive control below come from Home Office statutory guidance, which lists the kinds of behaviour the offence can cover. It is not a test to mark yourself against, but many people recognise their own home in it. Signs include a partner, ex-partner or relative who:

• cuts you off from friends and family, or makes it hard to see them;
• checks your phone, your post or where you go, or demands your passwords;
• controls the money, your bank account or your benefits, or pressures you into debt;
• makes rules about what you wear, eat or do, and punishes you when you break them;
• puts you down, humiliates you or undermines you as a parent;
• turns up at your work, or stops you working at all;
• threatens you, your family, your friends or your pets;
• uses the children, or a court case, to keep a hold over you.

Violence does not have to be part of it. The guidance says this behaviour can take place without any physical or sexual abuse. If money sits at the centre of it, our guide to economic abuse in family court goes further. Our page on hidden forms of abuse also looks at quieter patterns.

Less obvious coercive control examples

Some coercive control examples are harder to spot. The guidance notes that this behaviour can build gradually, so the early signs of coercive control are easy to miss. It also lists a partner, ex-partner or relative who:

• blocks doors, slams doors, hits walls or drives dangerously with you in the car;
• tracks your location through your phone, or posts unwanted messages on your social media;
• turns up without warning where you are meeting friends;
• hides or destroys your passport or visa, or threatens to report you to immigration enforcement;
• stops you taking medication, or will not let you go to medical appointments alone;
• threatens to share private photos, or to reveal your sexuality, gender identity or a health condition;
• makes false reports about you to the police, children’s services or the Child Maintenance Service;
• pressures you over contraception, pregnancy or abortion;
• stops you joining clubs, volunteering or learning English.

The full list is in paragraph 32 of the statutory guidance.

Is coercive control a criminal offence?

Yes. Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 makes controlling or coercive behaviour an offence in England and Wales. It came into force on 29 December 2015.

What are the points to prove under section 76?

A prosecutor must prove four points, and all four must be true:

• the behaviour happens repeatedly or continuously;
• you are “personally connected”, for example as partners, ex-partners, spouses, relatives or parents of the same child;
• it has a serious effect on you;
• the other person knows, or ought to know, that it will have that effect.

“Serious effect” has a legal meaning. Either the behaviour makes you fear, on at least two occasions, that someone will use violence against you. Or it causes you serious alarm or distress that has a substantial adverse effect on your usual day-to-day activities. The guidance gives examples, such as changing how you see friends, changing your work or routine, or your health getting worse.

The maximum sentence is five years in prison. The case can go to a magistrates’ court or the Crown Court, and the guidance confirms there is no time limit for prosecution.

Before 5 April 2023, the offence did not cover an ex-partner or relative who no longer lived with you. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021, s.68 removed that limit. However, the change does not reach back: it applies only to behaviour on or after that date (SI 2023/406, reg. 3). Our guide to post-separation abuse explains how control can carry on through court cases.

Police or family court: which route fits you?

Controlling behaviour can lead to two separate processes. They follow different rules, and you can use one, both or neither.

Which step comes first is a judgement call. The Home Office guidance warns that the time after a relationship ends can carry a higher risk, so plan for your safety before you act.

How do you prove coercive control?

In the family court, the person who makes the allegation has to prove it. The judge asks whether it is more likely than not that it happened. That is the balance of probabilities, and it sits below the criminal standard (Re H-N, paras 5 and 73).

Proof of coercive control rarely rests on one document. Instead, it usually comes from a pattern that several sources show together. The Home Office guidance lists evidence that can help, such as:

• your own statement, including how the behaviour changed your daily life;
• messages, emails and social media posts;
• bank records that show control over money;
• medical records and notes from support services;
• a diary of what happened, with dates and times;
• 999 call recordings or other police records, if the police have been called;
• friends, family or colleagues who saw the effect on you.

A statement carries more weight when it shows the effect on you, not just a list of events. In children cases, the judge can also ask for a schedule or table that sets out the pattern, so the court can look at the abuse as a whole (PD12J, para 19). Our Scott Schedule guide shows how that kind of table works, and our guide to police evidence in family court covers police records in more detail.

Keep records only if it is safe. The guidance warns that a diary or saved messages can put you at risk if the other person finds them. You could send copies to someone you trust, or keep them where the other person cannot reach. Deciding what to gather, and what to leave out, is where advice makes the biggest difference.

Coercive control checklist: is your record on track?

This short check helps you see where you stand before you raise your concerns. It is not a test, and it cannot tell you whether you have a case.

How do family courts deal with controlling and coercive behaviour?

In children cases, the court follows Practice Direction 12J whenever domestic abuse comes up. It refers to coercive and controlling behaviour throughout. In outline, the process runs like this.

1. The court hears about it early. It may learn of the abuse from your forms, including form C1A, or from Cafcass safeguarding checks (para 9). The court should not push you into dispute resolution that is not safe for you.
2. The judge looks at it at the first hearing. At the earliest opportunity, usually that hearing, the judge identifies the facts in dispute and how far the abuse matters to the decision (para 5).
3. The court decides if it needs to find the facts. It asks whether findings are needed to assess risk or to make a final order (paras 16 and 17). Our guide to applying for a fact-finding hearing covers this step.
4. Both sides set out their evidence. The judge can direct statements, a schedule that shows the pattern, and records from the police or health services (para 19).
5. The judge decides what happened. A finding comes on the balance of probabilities. It is not a criminal conviction.
6. The findings shape the arrangements. Any contact must not expose your child to an unmanageable risk of harm, and the court must also consider your safety (paras 35 and 36).

You can also ask for special arrangements at court, such as separate waiting areas and separate ways in and out of the building (para 10). Our guide to attending court with a domestic abuse history explains more.

Can the family court protect you from coercive control?

Yes, if you and the other person have the right kind of connection. There is no court fee to apply for the two main orders (GOV.UK).

• A non-molestation order can stop someone harming or threatening you or your child. Breaking it is a criminal offence, with a maximum of five years in prison (Family Law Act 1996, s.42A).
• An occupation order can decide who lives in the home.
• In a few named areas, a domestic abuse protection order is also available, and it can add conditions such as an electronic tag.
• If someone keeps making court applications to control you, the court can stop further applications without its permission through a barring order (PD12J, para 37A).

In an emergency, a court can make an order before the other person knows about the case (Family Law Act 1996, s.45). Even so, the right order and the right wording depend on your circumstances.

Where else can coercive control matter in family law?

• Child arrangements. Practice Direction 12J says domestic abuse harms children, even when they are too young to understand it. Findings can affect whether contact happens and how. Our page on domestic abuse and child contact explains more.
• Money on divorce. A court can take conduct into account where it would be inequitable to disregard it (Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, s.25(2)(g)). This only applies where ignoring the conduct would be unfair, so it needs careful thought. See our guide to the section 25 conduct argument.
• Stalking and harassment. Some behaviour, especially after separation, may fit better as stalking. Our stalking help page covers that route.

Frequently asked questions

General information about the law in England and Wales, not advice on your circumstances.

Expert Tip

People often come to us with a folder of screenshots and one question: is this enough? The number of messages matters less than what they show. A judge needs to see a pattern and its effect on your life, set out in a clear order. Before you report or apply, think about your safety first, including who can see your phone. Then get advice on which parts of your account to lead with, because your first statement tends to set the tone for everything that follows.

Iblal Iqbal, Partner & Family Law Strategist