What is reasonable access for fathers?

By Tom AtkinsonPublished 9 December 2019Updated 23 September 202619 mins read9 sections

Part of: Child Custody for Fathers

There is no legal definition of “reasonable access for fathers” in England and Wales, and no set amount of time a father is automatically entitled to. The law does not use the word “access” at all. Since 2014 the family courts make child arrangements orders under section 8 of the Children Act 1989, setting out who a child lives with, spends time with, or otherwise has contact with. What counts as reasonable is whatever suits that individual child’s welfare, which section 1(1) makes the court’s paramount consideration. In practice, alternate weekends with midweek and holiday contact is the usual starting point — but that is custom, not law.

This page answers one question: how much time is normal. What parents usually agree, what courts usually see, what moves the number, and what to do when the other parent says no. It starts with the part most people get wrong, which is what the word “rights” is actually doing here.

Child access rights: what the law actually gives a parent

Neither parent has a right to a set amount of contact. What the law gives you is parental responsibility — the authority to make decisions about your child — and the right to ask a court to decide how much time your child spends with you. Those two things are separate, and treating them as one is the most common mistake fathers make in the first month.

Parental responsibility is defined in section 3(1) of the Children Act 1989 as all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority a parent has in relation to the child. It is what gives you a say in schooling, medical treatment, a change of name and travel abroad. A mother has it automatically. A father has it if he and the mother were married to, or civil partners of, each other at the time of the birth (section 2(1)), or if he is named on the birth certificate for a birth registered on or after 1 December 2003, the date the birth-certificate route came into force. A father who has neither can still acquire it — by agreement with the mother, by court order, or by re-registering the birth jointly (section 4).

Parental responsibility does not come with hours attached. A father who holds it can still find himself seeing his child every other weekend. A father without it can still be granted substantial time, because any parent may apply for a child arrangements order as of right (section 10(4)(a)). Time is settled separately, under section 8, by asking what this child needs — not by asking what either parent has earned.

So when people search for child access rights, the honest answer is that the law gives you no number. It gives you a test, and mothers and fathers stand equally before it. If what you need is the rights question — who holds parental responsibility, and how a father without it gets it — our guide to what rights a father has to see his child takes it step by step, and child custody for fathers covers the wider picture. If what you need is the number, the rest of this page is about nothing else.

How much contact is normal, by your child’s age

There is no statutory answer, only conventions that recur. The table below sets out the patterns most commonly agreed between parents and most often seen in child arrangements orders. None of these is a legal entitlement. They are conventions, useful as a starting point for discussion. A court will depart from any of them where the individual child’s welfare requires it.

How many nights should a father have with his child?

Two to three nights a fortnight is the usual answer for a school-age child: alternate weekends from Friday to Sunday, which is two overnights, plus one midweek that is either a third overnight or a teatime visit. There is no legal minimum and no entitlement to a fixed number of nights. Younger children start with fewer, or none, and build up.

Whether a court will order overnight stays at all is a separate question, and we answer it in what rights a father has to see his child.

The table tells you what is usual. It does not show you what a fortnight actually looks like, or what changes as your child gets older. Pick an age and it fills itself in.

How often should a father see his child?

Most separated fathers see their child on alternate weekends plus one midweek — eight to ten days of contact a month, of which four to six are overnight. There is no legal minimum and no legal maximum. That is what parents most often agree and what courts most often see. It is not what anyone is owed.

How often a father sees his child is decided by what that child needs, not by what either parent deserves. It is measured against the welfare checklist in section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989: your child’s own wishes and feelings, their physical, emotional and educational needs, the likely effect of any change, their age, any harm they have suffered or are at risk of suffering, and how capable each parent is of meeting those needs.

Four things move the number more than anything else: how old your child is, how far apart you live, how the school week falls, and whether the two of you can manage a handover without a row. A father ten minutes away who can do the school run usually ends up with more midweek time than one three hours away. Not because he has more rights. Because it works for the child. If your child lives mainly with their mother, our complete guide to child arrangements for fathers in that position goes further into how time is usually built up.

How many times a week? In the usual pattern, two or three times in the week he has the weekend and once in the week he does not, counting a midweek evening and counting a phone or video call as contact in its own right. Under-threes are the exception: seen more often, for shorter periods, because at that age frequency is what builds the relationship and long gaps are what break it. Courts do not count contacts. They look at whether the rhythm makes sense for your child’s week.

Is every other weekend reasonable access?

Yes, in the sense that it is what most separated parents agree and what most child arrangements orders end up reflecting. No, in the sense that nobody has to accept it. Every other weekend became the default because it fits the school week, not because it is the right answer for every child.

It is worth being clear about the size of it. Two nights in fourteen. Twenty-six weekends a year, fifty-two nights, before holidays are added. If you were doing bedtime every night three months ago, that is the scale of the change, and it is why this question matters more than it looks.

How it usually runs. Collection from school on Friday, return to school on Monday morning or home on Sunday evening, every second weekend, commonly paired with one midweek evening or overnight, half of each school holiday, and Christmas and birthdays alternating. Where parents find each other difficult, handover at school is often preferred, because it removes the need for the two of you to meet at all.

It usually works where your child is at school, the two homes are far enough apart that midweek travel is a burden rather than a treat, and the weekend is a real weekend rather than a Saturday afternoon.

It usually does not work where your child is under three and a twelve-day gap is simply too long, where you live close enough to add a midweek overnight without disrupting school, or where your shift pattern means the weekend is the one time you cannot be there.

Here is the mistake we see most. A father accepts alternate weekends as an opening position because it sounds reasonable and he does not want to look difficult. Two years later it is the status quo, and the question in front of the judge is no longer what should this be but why should a working arrangement be disturbed. Those are two completely different cases to run, and the second one is much harder. If alternate weekends is not what your child needs, the moment to say so is the first time it is proposed.

What is reasonable access for fathers during term time?

In term time the school week does most of the deciding. The usual shape is alternate weekends from Friday to Sunday, one midweek evening or overnight, and a handover at the school gate rather than the doorstep. What makes a term-time arrangement hold is whether it survives a Tuesday with homework and a Thursday with football, not whether it looks fair on paper. Our guide to typical child contact arrangements sets out how term time and holidays fit together across the year.

What to do if you cannot agree: the five steps

1. Put a proposal in writing. Specific days, specific times, specific handovers. A concrete proposal is far harder to refuse than a general request for “more time”, and it shows a court you tried.
2. Try mediation. Before most applications you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (section 10(1), Children and Families Act 2014). A mediator explains the options and whether mediation suits your case. A government voucher of up to £500 towards the cost is available for eligible child arrangements cases and is not means-tested, though the vouchers are limited in number.
3. Check whether an exemption applies. You do not have to attend a MIAM where there is evidence of domestic abuse, where there is a risk to the child, or in genuine urgency. The exemption is claimed on the application form itself.
4. Apply for a child arrangements order on form C100. The court fee is £270. Our guide to the C100 form walks through it box by box, form EX160 explains how help with court fees works if money is tight, and how to get a child contact order covers what happens next.
5. Attend the first hearing. The First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment is listed for week 5 after the application is issued, week 6 at the latest. Cafcass carries out safeguarding checks beforehand and the court will try to help you agree. A great many cases settle there without a contested final hearing.

If you are not sure which of those five steps you are actually on, that is the first thing a free callback settles. Ask us to call you back.

Special situations, in short

If contact is being stopped

Where there is no court order there is nothing to enforce, and in practice the parent your child lives with can stop contact. That does not make it permanent — the only way to close the gap is an order — see what to do if you are being refused contact.

Genuine welfare concerns are different. Where there is evidence that a parent’s involvement would put the child at risk of harm, the presumption of involvement in section 1(2A) does not apply at all. Unhappiness about a new partner, a lifestyle or unpaid maintenance is not a welfare reason and rarely persuades a court. We set out where that line falls in valid reasons to stop child contact and, from the other side, why a father’s access should not be restricted.

One practical point, and it is the one that decides cases. A parent who withholds contact without a sound welfare reason may find that counts against them later — but only if there is a record of you asking, calmly, in writing, and being refused. Build that record from the first refusal, not from the fifth. Angry messages become the other side’s evidence; short, reasonable ones become yours.

If your child does not want to come

A child’s wishes are one of the welfare factors, weighed in the light of their age and understanding (section 1(3)(a)), so they count for more the older your child is. A reluctant eight-year-old is not the same as a settled refusal, and what a court wants to understand is the reason behind it. Start with when your child refuses contact and what alienation is and is not.

If you live abroad, or your child does

Distance changes the shape of contact, not the principle: fewer and longer blocks in the school holidays, with regular video and phone contact in between. Once a child is outside the jurisdiction there are extra steps before anything is enforceable. See overseas child contact, international child access and how indirect contact works in practice.

School holidays, Christmas and birthdays

The usual starting point is half of each school holiday and an alternating arrangement for Christmas and birthdays, agreed in writing well before the term ends rather than in the week before it. Holidays are where most arrangements come unstuck, so they get their own guides: typical child contact arrangements, taking a child abroad and who has to consent, and getting through the festive period after a separation.

If you are not named on the birth certificate

Not being named does not stop you applying for a child arrangements order, but it usually means you do not hold parental responsibility, which limits what you can decide about school, medical treatment and travel. It can be acquired. Our guide on putting a father’s name on the birth certificate sets out the routes and what each one involves.

Frequently Asked Questions About Reasonable Access for Fathers

Does a father have a right to 50/50 in the UK?

No. There is no legal right to an equal division of a child’s time. The court presumes that a parent’s involvement furthers the child’s welfare (section 1(2A) of the Children Act 1989), but the Act defines that involvement as “involvement of some kind, either direct or indirect, but not any particular division of a child’s time” (section 1(2B)). Shared care is ordered where it works for the child, not because a parent is entitled to it. See shared custody arrangements.

Can a mother refuse a father access?

Where there is no court order, neither parent can be compelled to allow contact, and in practice the parent the child lives with can withhold it. That does not make it lasting: the other parent can apply for a child arrangements order, and a parent who stops contact without a sound welfare reason may find that counts against them. Where an order already exists, refusing contact breaches it and can be enforced.

What are valid reasons to stop a father’s contact?

Genuine welfare concerns: domestic abuse, substance misuse that puts the child at risk, or a real risk of harm or abduction. Unhappiness about a new partner, a lifestyle or unpaid maintenance are not welfare reasons. We go through each of them in reasons to stop child contact.

At what age can a child decide not to see their father?

There is no age at which a child gains a legal right to refuse. The court must consider the child’s ascertainable wishes and feelings in the light of their age and understanding (section 1(3)(a)), so those wishes carry steadily more weight as a child matures and are usually decisive by the mid-teens. A section 8 order will not normally run past a child’s sixteenth birthday unless the circumstances are exceptional (section 9(6)), though an order regulating only who the child lives with, and when, can continue (section 9(6A)–(6B)).

How much access is a father entitled to in Scotland?

The same answer in substance: no fixed amount. Scotland has its own law. Contact there is governed by the Children (Scotland) Act 1995, the order is a contact order under section 11(2)(d) rather than a child arrangements order, and the welfare of the child is the paramount consideration (section 11(7)(a)). The patterns Scottish families agree in practice look much like the ones in the table above. Kabir Family Law works in England and Wales, so if your case is in Scotland you will need someone qualified there.

Arrange a free consultation today

You already know the number you want. What you probably do not know is which of three things is going to decide whether you get it: the reason the other parent gives, whether an allegation lands and how it is dealt with, and how your child’s own view is read. None of those can be settled by reading. They are the whole conversation.

Get this wrong at the start and the cost is not a worse weekend. It is a pattern. Accept an arrangement that does not work and, a year on, you are no longer asking a court what is reasonable — you are asking it to disturb something your child has got used to, with section 1(3)(c) sitting on the other side of the table.

Talk it through with us first. The consultation is free and there is no obligation. We will tell you what a realistic ask looks like for a child of that age, what evidence would carry it, and whether this is a conversation to have with the other parent or an application to issue. Call 0330 094 5880 or ask us to call you back, and if you would rather start by writing it down, the form below reaches the same team.

We offer face-to-face appointments across England and Wales, and video consultations for fathers living away from their children.

This guide explains the law of England and Wales. It is general information, not advice about your own case. Kabir Family Law are family law specialists.