Part of: Divorce Specialists
Created: 9th July 2026
Last Updated: 11th August 2026
Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events, and it is normal to feel a mix of emotions. This guide sets out practical steps that can help you reduce stress and make clearer decisions during your separation. There will also be lots of decisions which need to be made between the separating partners before they can consider moving on with their life. In order to successfully resolve issues surrounding a divorce partners must ensure they remain calm and deal with stress which may cause further delays in reaching an amicable solution. Our family law specialists have put together these tips to help you manage stress during your divorce.
This guide describes the position in England and Wales. Last reviewed: 11th August 2026.
It can also help to know that the legal process itself is designed to reduce conflict. Since April 2022, divorce in England and Wales is “no-fault”: neither of you has to blame the other or prove wrongdoing, and the application can be made jointly if you both agree the marriage has broken down. Removing blame from the process often takes some of the heat out of it.
Take care of your emotional well being and physical health
Physical and emotional wellbeing, along with protecting your mental health and overall health, can go a long way to ensuring you cope better with a stressful divorce. It could also help divert your mind to bring about a freshness you need. You need to ensure you are being good to yourself and your body, making self care part of supporting your emotional well being. You should ensure you take some time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Carrying out routine physical activities such as the gym and sports can help your emotions. Physical activity can help relieve tension, anger and anxiety issues, helping you manage divorce stress and support your well being. This in turn could improve your emotional wellbeing and lift your mood. If despite such activities your emotions are still running high you should consider speaking to your GP or therapist, as divorce counselling can provide new coping strategies and therapists can offer new perspectives during the divorce process. Therapy could go a long way to assist with overwhelmed emotions, especially when high distress leaves you feeling physically vulnerable during this life-changing event.
Think positively in order to avoid a stressful divorce
This may seem easier said than done. You may feel as though your world has been turned upside down, and that is a normal part of the grieving process. However, exploring new interests could assist with the changes in your life, and making new friends can also help with moving forward. It is normal to experience different feelings, to feel sad, or to feel anxious for a little while. If you have children, you will need to think about them. A stressful divorce can impact children as they will not be able to enjoy quality family time when they need it the most. Ensure you spend time with the children and keep supportive routines or adapt family traditions to protect family life during the transition, helping them understand that things will be ok.
Avoid negative self-talk and guilt
Family lawyers often note that a divorced or separated spouse may feel guilty and fall into negative self-talk after the end of a relationship and a marriage ending. This does nothing but add to the existing problems. Remember the past cannot be changed. You should allow yourself to grieve and work through painful feelings. You should try and drive these negative feelings away from you and learn from the past. Focus on moving forward, and do not let guilt from the past lead your future.
Change any expectations you have
During separation and divorce, expectations often need to change from what you once had for your partner. You should note that no one has any control over the feelings and actions of another person. Instead of trying to control a former spouse, set clear boundaries to reduce conflict and protect your peace. Given that you are divorcing you will have even less control on your partner than before. You should therefore let go of trying to control the emotions and actions of your partner. You should try and forget about thinking of your partner and accept whatever might happen to protect your mental and emotional stability during this difficult time.
Avoid making any rash or hasty decisions to avoid a stressful divorce
Divorce can be a highly stressful situation. With divorce also comes decisions or changes which will need to be made. Before you consider any decisions or changes you should ensure you carefully think of all the outcomes. Take time to think things through and consider all your options. Avoid using emotional thinking when considering emotional factors and think logically. You should give yourself plenty of time to reach a decision and learn to be patient when making decisions. A decision made with emotions may seem right at the time but may have major consequences in the future.
Avoid arguments and conflicts with your partner
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, staying calm and talking things through may not be safe or appropriate, and mediation is not always suitable. Help is available — GOV.UK sets out where to get support, and you should speak to a family law specialist about your options. Even if you would rather not communicate with or see your partner, you may find that you will be required to do exactly that to resolve your divorce proceedings. You should try and remain calm when discussions with your partner take place, as this can help manage the emotional toll and emotional turmoil that conflict creates. If you notice a decision is turning into a heated one or is ending up in an argument or fight, then calmly suggest you both try talking again later. If direct discussions keep breaking down, family mediation gives you a neutral, trained mediator to help you reach agreement without going to court. Where your dispute involves arrangements for children, the government’s Family Mediation Voucher Scheme currently contributes up to £500 towards mediation costs, subject to eligibility and available funding. Arguments and conflicts can often give rise to negative emotions which may affect your thinking process and may do nothing more but add to the problems at hand, while calmer communication can also help manage stress levels during the process.
Be sure to make time for friends and fun
You need to ensure you can laugh and enjoy life despite all that is happening, and spending time with friends and family is an important form of support during a difficult time. You should schedule activities that will lighten your mood and bring you pleasure. These activities should be carried out regularly. Maintaining a close circle of friends and socialising could also help lower stress levels and make it easier to cope with the emotional toll of going through a divorce. Isolating yourself from family, friends and the world can increase stress and hinder recovery after divorce. If personal connections are not enough, support groups or a divorce coach can offer extra support. Although getting out of the house may feel like an effort, going out of the home environment and enjoying life you will find that this will help divert your mind, reconnect with people, open the door to new relationships, and give you space to re-energise.
Learn to let go and move on to ensure you do not experience a stressful divorce
You will need to take time to heal from the divorce, working through the emotional stages of grief before you can fully step into a new life. It is normal to function below your usual optimal level for a while, and recovery takes time. Despite how difficult it is likely to be, divorce coping often includes forgiving both yourself and your partner while managing painful emotions in healthy ways. You should not allow the issues from your marriage to affect your future or future relationships; avoid added pressures, do not rush into anything new, and let emotional readiness take the lead. Dealing with the practical steps — financial disclosure, arrangements for children and the divorce application itself — methodically and in good time will reduce uncertainty and help you move on to the next chapter.
You should remember no time remains the same. It is up to you as to how you move on with life. By following the above tips you could avoid your divorce being stressful and can begin to enjoy life again and move on. Rebuild family life as you move forward, including important bonds with extended family. Do not let the past affect your future.
If you would like to discuss any aspect of your divorce please contact our family law specialists at Kabir Family Law on 0330 094 5880 to discuss your options or let us call you back.
