Celebrating Father’s Day Without Your Children

By Tom AtkinsonPublished 16 October 2019Updated 18 August 20266 mins read6 sections

Part of: Child Custody for Fathers

For every parent it is important to spend special occasions with their family and children. Similarly, Father’s Day is a special time for children and families to show their love and appreciation for their fathers, especially for children who see their fathers as their heroes and role models. However, Father’s Day can cause mixed feelings and emotions to fathers who have separated or divorced and are not able to spend time with their children on a day designed for them.

Recently in June 2019 the Telegraph reported that one in five fathers had not seen their children on Father’s day. This can be a stressful time for fathers who may feel isolated and lonely on this special occasion.

The aim of this article is to provide tips and assistance to fathers who are in the unfortunate situation where Father’s Day may fall on the weekend on which they do not have contact with their child.

The importance of Father’s day for Divorced and separated fathers

Our family law specialists understand that like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is also a parent-specific occasion and children should be able to spend the day with their father where possible. It would be helpful to plan your Father’s Day in advance. It might be that both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day falls on weekends where both parents will not have access to their children. It might be an idea to discuss in advance with your ex-partner to try and see whether a compromise can be reached that the children will see the father and mother on each Father’s Day and Mother’s Day.

Organise your special day early with your ex-partner

Avoid leaving it too late to speak to your ex-partner when they may have already made plans to spend with the children or take them away. If parents remain on amicable terms it may be possible to make changes to the weekend contact to allow the children the opportunity to celebrate Father’s Day with their father.

Create a virtual meeting with your children in the absence of a physical meeting

If you unable to spend Father’s Day with your children following a separation due to not being on amicable terms with your ex-partner, you may consider creating a virtual meeting on the day. In the day and age of modern technology you can use this in your favour to spend time with your children. Parents often communicate with their children through video calls, Skype and simple telephone calls. If you need ideas, you could also plan activities like online games during the call, as playing online games can be a fun alternative activity. Despite not physically being able to spend your day with your children having such contact allows you to talk to your children and show them how much you love them and care for them. A heartfelt message during the call or by video can also help strengthen your bond with your children.

Celebrate father’s day on an alternative day

Many separated fathers often understand that although Father’s Day is a special day alternative days can be arranged to share this celebration.

Remember Father’s Day is just a date created by other people, so making your own special day at another time can still be just as meaningful. You can arrange to celebrate Father’s Day with your children either the weekend before or the weekend after when you do have access to your children. On that day, share family stories to help children connect with their dad, including stories they may have heard about dad growing up, and tell stories about Dad to keep his memory alive.

Avoid using social media to spoil your day

Many fathers who remain without child contact on Father’s Day are encouraged to avoid using social media on this day as viewing other people’s pictures, celebrations and posts may result in you feeling emotional and lonely. Instead, focus on healthier ways to spend Father’s Day Sunday, rather than on what you cannot do, as this may be the best thing for protecting your emotions. You can meet your own father to celebrate the day and create special memories with your father, or alternatively plan a different activity with your friends on this day such as going for a meal or a few drinks which may help alleviate the emotions that may arise on this day. This can be an act of self care when dealing with a difficult time and feeling sad.

Avoid blaming your children for them not spending Father’s Day with you

Fathers should not hold their children at fault for not being able to spend Father’s Day with them. Therefore any feelings of anger and frustration should not be taken out on the children as the children were not the reason for separation. Children should therefore not be held at fault for missing Father’s Day and should not be made to feel guilty. Fathers should also listen to their child’s feelings about Father’s Day and let them talk openly. It is worth remembering that if a father is unable to celebrate Father’s Day without their children, children are also in the same predicament as they are being kept away from their father and are unable to show how much they love and care for their father.

Children may feel emotional about not being able to celebrate Father’s Day when they prepare Father’s Days cards at school knowing they will not be able to meet their fathers on the special day.

Separation and divorce is difficult for parents and children likewise and could lead to emotional stress, loneliness and depression. You are not alone, and if the pain of the day feels overwhelming, a support or counselling service may help. At Kabir Family Law our family lawyers specialise in divorce law and child law. If you need to speak to one of our experts for advice, then feel free to contact us on 0330 094 5880 to discuss your options on child arrangements or let us call you back. With family lawyers in Oxford, Newcastle, Manchester and London you can rest assure that we are within local reach of you.