Family law guide
Part of: Shared Custody Arrangements
When parents separate, deciding where children will live and how they will maintain relationships with both parents becomes a paramount concern. The Family Court in England and Wales uses Child Arrangements Orders under Section 8 of the Children Act 1989 to formalise these arrangements. Two primary components form the foundation of these orders: the lives with order and the spends time with order.
Understanding the distinction between a lives with order and a spends time with order helps parents navigate family proceedings with greater confidence. These orders replaced the outdated terminology of “residence” and “contact” following the Children and Families Act 2014, which aimed to encourage parents to adopt less confrontational positions regarding child arrangements.
The Family Court prioritises the welfare of children above all else when making decisions about living arrangements. Whether you seek a lives with order or a spends time with order, knowing how these mechanisms work will empower you to make informed decisions for your family’s future.
A lives with order specifies the parent or person with whom a child will primarily reside. This component of a Child Arrangements Order designates the “resident parent” who holds day-to-day care and responsibility for the child.
If you need to apply for a lives with order, the process begins with attempting to reach agreement outside of court. However, when agreement proves impossible, court proceedings may become necessary. Before you can apply for a lives with order UK courts require attendance at a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) unless exemptions apply. To apply for a child arrangements order, you must be 18 or over, and the application can be made online using Form C100.
The application process to apply for a lives with order involves several stages, and the complexity varies depending on your circumstances. Some cases resolve at the first hearing, while others require detailed welfare assessments. Our family lawyers can advise you on what to expect when you apply for a child based on the specific factors in your case.
Parents who hold a lives with order receive certain automatic rights and responsibilities:
The parent named in a lives with order gains automatic permission to take the child outside England and Wales for up to 28 days without requiring consent from the other parent. This provision, outlined in Section 13(2) of the Children Act 1989, facilitates holiday planning and short-term travel arrangements.
For unmarried fathers who do not already possess parental responsibility, obtaining a lives with order automatically grants them this legal status. This represents a significant benefit, as parental responsibility enables meaningful involvement in major decisions affecting the child’s life.
The parent with a lives with order typically handles routine decisions about the child’s daily life, including school attendance, medical appointments, and everyday care arrangements.
Despite holding a lives with order, parents cannot unilaterally make major decisions without consulting others who share parental responsibility, and major choices about a child’s upbringing must still be made jointly by those with parental responsibility. Significant choices regarding education, relocation abroad, changes to the child’s surname, or medical treatment still require agreement from all parties with parental responsibility, and some steps may require the court’s permission if consensus cannot be reached.
A spends time with order regulates when a child will have contact with the non-resident parent or other significant individuals. This order helps maintain regular contact after parents separate, supporting ongoing relationships between children and important family members.
A spends time with order encompasses various contact arrangements:
This involves face-to-face time between the child and the named person, including overnight stays, weekend visits, alternate weekends, holiday periods, and special occasions such as birthdays and religious celebrations.
Direct contact orders often also state where the child spends holiday periods and other set times.
When direct contact proves inappropriate or requires gradual introduction, indirect contact maintains the relationship through telephone calls, video calls, letters, cards, and email communication.
In cases where welfare concerns exist, the court may order supervised contact at designated contact centres or with approved third parties present.
Unlike parents with a lives with order, those holding only a spends time with order must obtain written consent from the other parent (or court permission) before taking the child outside England and Wales, even for brief holidays. This distinction creates practical differences that parents should understand when planning family activities.
Understanding the practical implications of each order type helps parents appreciate their significance beyond mere labelling.
The High Court case of AZ v BX (Child Arrangements Order: Appeal) [2024] EWHC 1528 highlighted that the choice between order types carries genuine welfare implications. Mr Justice Pool emphasised that these distinctions represent more than administrative labels—they affect the child’s living arrangements and signal each parent’s value and importance in children’s lives.
The judgment noted that a shared lives with order “would put the parents on an equal footing” and, in relation to the child’s status under the order, can give both parents the same rights, and “signal to each parent that each was of value in the lives of the children.” This recognition addresses the psychological impact on both parents and children when courts make these determinations.
|
Aspect |
Lives With Order |
Spends Time With Order |
|
Primary residence |
Child resides primarily with this parent |
Child visits but does not primarily reside |
|
Travel abroad (under 28 days) |
Automatic permission without consent |
Must obtain consent or court permission |
|
Parental responsibility (unmarried fathers) |
Automatically granted |
Court must separately decide whether to grant |
|
Perceived role |
Often seen as “primary” parent |
May feel marginalised as “secondary” parent |
|
Day-to-day decisions |
Typically handles routine matters |
Limited involvement in daily decisions |
Research and case law acknowledge that the terminology used in court orders affects how parents perceive their roles and how children understand their family structure. A lives with order to one parent and spends time with order to another may inadvertently create a hierarchy that does not reflect the actual involvement or capability of both parents.
For this reason, many family lawyers advocate for shared lives with orders where circumstances permit, recognising the benefits for children’s emotional wellbeing and family dynamics.
A shared lives with order specifies with whom the child is to live, even where the time split between households is not equal. It is a shared living arrangement rather than a label that requires equal time, and this arrangement offers several advantages over the traditional lives with/spends time with configuration.
In a shared lives with order, both parents are recorded as the child’s resident parent, which can be important for schools, professionals and day‑to‑day interactions, and it means the child lives with both parents for the purposes of the order even if day-to-day time is not split equally.
The shared lives with order benefits both parents and children in meaningful ways. When courts grant a shared lives with years strengthen your position. Our family lawyers can advise you on the specific evidence and arguments most likely to support your application based on your circumstances.
The AZ v BX case established that shared lives with orders do not require equal time division, and they can still work well where regular routines are maintained across both homes. Even when children spend more time with one parent, courts may still grant shared orders where:
When determining any child arrangements matter, Family Courts apply the Welfare Checklist contained in Section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989. This checklist ensures systematic consideration of all relevant factors affecting children’s wellbeing.
Courts consider children’s expressed preferences, weighted according to age and understanding. Older children’s views generally carry more influence, particularly from ages 11-12 onwards, though courts assess individual maturity rather than applying rigid age thresholds.
This factor examines what children require for healthy development across all dimensions of their lives, including stability, routine, educational continuity, and emotional support.
Courts evaluate how proposed arrangements might impact children, often favouring stability and minimal disruption where possible.
Individual circumstances including cultural heritage, religious background, special needs, and other personal factors receive appropriate consideration.
The court examines evidence of past harm and assesses risks of future harm, including physical abuse, emotional harm, neglect, or exposure to domestic abuse.
Courts assess each parent’s ability to provide appropriate care, considering factors such as parenting skills, mental and physical health, accommodation, and support networks.
Courts consider all available orders and may make different orders than those specifically requested if better serving children’s welfare.
Understanding the procedural journey helps parents prepare effectively for court proceedings involving lives with orders or spends time with orders.
Before making court applications, parents must attend a MIAM with an authorised family mediator unless exemptions apply. This meeting explores whether mediation or alternative dispute resolution might resolve matters without court intervention. Exemptions include situations involving domestic abuse, child protection concerns, urgency, or when the other party cannot be contacted.
If mediation proves unsuccessful or inappropriate, applications proceed using Form C100, submitted to the local Family Court with the current fee (£232-£263, with fee exemptions available for those on low incomes or certain benefits).
The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) receives all applications and conducts initial safeguarding checks with police and local authority records, and children’s services or the local authority may also become involved where safeguarding issues arise. CAFCASS officers contact both parents to discuss welfare concerns before the first hearing.
The First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA) typically takes place 4-6 weeks after the Lives with Order application is issued. The court aims to identify issues, explore agreement possibilities, and determine next steps. Many cases resolve at this stage through negotiation.
Where disputes continue or welfare concerns exist, courts may order a Section 7 Report prepared by CAFCASS or local authority social workers. This comprehensive assessment typically takes 12-16 weeks and includes:
Research indicates courts follow CAFCASS recommendations in approximately 70-80% of cases, though judges retain ultimate decision-making authority.
Further hearings address any remaining issues. If agreement remains impossible, a final hearing allows both parties to present evidence before the court makes binding determinations about lives with orders and spends time with orders.
If someone fails to comply with a Child Arrangements Order without reasonable excuse, the affected party can apply to court for enforcement. Courts may impose unpaid work requirements, vary the order, or in serious cases, transfer residence arrangements. The court must be satisfied beyond reasonable doubt that a breach occurred before making enforcement orders.
Yes, grandparents and other family members can apply for Child Arrangements Orders, and a grandparent can apply for a child arrangements order but will usually need the court’s permission first. However, unlike parents, they typically need to seek permission from the court first, with the court looking at the grandparent’s connection to the child and the impact of the application when deciding permission. Courts generally recognise the valuable role grandparents play and rarely refuse permission unless evidence suggests the application would not serve the child’s best interests.
The “live with” element remains legally binding until the child reaches 18, though courts rarely enforce orders beyond age 16 except in exceptional circumstances. Older orders may be referred to as a residence order, although this has largely been replaced by the Child Arrangements Order framework. The “spends time with” element typically continues until the child turns 16.
Yes, either parent can apply to vary or discharge existing orders if circumstances change significantly. You must demonstrate that proposed changes serve the child’s best interests and should attempt mediation before returning to court unless exemptions apply.
A lives with order does not grant automatic permission for permanent relocation, whether domestically or internationally. Moving locally within reasonable distance typically presents fewer obstacles, but significant relocations affecting the other parent’s contact require either agreement or court permission through a Specific Issue Order.
Unmarried fathers can obtain parental responsibility through several routes: being named on the birth certificate (after 1 December 2003), entering a parental responsibility agreement with the mother, or obtaining a court order. A lives with order automatically grants parental responsibility, while a spends time with order prompts the court to consider whether parental responsibility should also be granted.
Courts apply the welfare checklist and consider the specific circumstances of each family. Factors include the circumstances of the child’s parents, existing care arrangements, children’s established routines, parental capability, geographic proximity between homes, school arrangements, and children’s relationships with both homes. The AZ v BX case confirmed that shared orders do not require equal division of time.
Yes, courts consider children’s wishes and feelings as part of the welfare checklist. CAFCASS officers typically ascertain these views through age-appropriate conversations. However, children are never asked to choose between parents, and their expressed preferences represent one factor among many rather than determining outcomes.
Domestic abuse significantly impacts court determinations. Courts conduct fact-finding hearings where abuse is alleged, and CAFCASS assesses risks throughout proceedings. Perpetrators may receive restricted or supervised contact, and in serious cases, courts may refuse contact entirely to protect children’s welfare.
The application fee is £263 in July 2025. This was updated in April 2025., with fee exemptions available for those receiving certain benefits or on low incomes. Legal representation costs vary significantly depending on case complexity and solicitor rates. Mediation often proves more cost-effective than contested court proceedings.
Numerous organisations provide support including NSPCC and YoungMinds.
No. A spends time with order ensures ongoing, meaningful contact with your children. Many non-resident parents maintain close, loving relationships through well-structured contact arrangements. The court’s priority centres on children maintaining relationships with both parents wherever safe and appropriate.
There is no legal presumption that shared care must be divided equally between parents. Section 1(2A) of the Children Act 1989 creates a presumption that parental involvement furthers children’s welfare, but this does not mandate specific time allocations, and a shared order can still work where time is not equally split. Courts determine arrangements based on individual circumstances and children’s best interests.
Effective preparation includes gathering relevant documentation, understanding the welfare checklist, considering your children’s specific needs, and demonstrating willingness to facilitate their relationship with the other parent. Professional legal advice from experienced family lawyers helps ensure you present your case effectively.
Agreed arrangements can be formalised through a Consent Order, which the court approves without requiring a full hearing. This provides legal certainty and enforceability. Alternatively, parents may create a Parenting Plan without court involvement, though these lack legal enforceability.
Can I represent myself in court?
Yes, many parents act as “litigants in person” without legal representation. Support Through Court provides assistance for self-representing parties. However, complex cases involving safeguarding concerns, international elements, or significant disputes often benefit from professional legal guidance from specialist child lawyers.
Yes, obtaining a lives with order parental responsibility is automatically granted to unmarried fathers who do not already hold it. This is a significant benefit of a lives with order, as parental responsibility enables meaningful involvement in major decisions affecting your child’s life. For those who already have parental responsibility, a lives with order confirms your status as the parent with whom the child primarily resides.
Navigating disputes about where children live and how they spend time with each parent requires sensitivity, expertise, and a child-focused approach. At Kabir Family Law, our specialist family lawyers bring national expertise in helping grandparents, step-parents, parents, and other family members through complex child arrangement matters.
Our experienced team understands the emotional weight of these proceedings and works strategically to achieve outcomes that prioritise your children’s wellbeing. We guide clients through every stage of the process, from initial MIAM attendance through to final hearings where necessary.
Whether you seek a lives with order, a spends time with order, or a shared arrangement, our child lawyers work collaboratively with you to understand your family’s unique circumstances and develop tailored strategies to protect your children’s best interests.
Navigating disputes about where children live requires sensitivity, expertise, and a child-focused approach. Whether you need to apply for a lives with order, seek a shared lives with order, or understand how a lives with order affects parental responsibility, our family law specialists provide the guidance you need. Our experienced team understands that applying for a lives with order UK proceedings can feel overwhelming. We work strategically to achieve outcomes that prioritise your children’s wellbeing while protecting your relationship with them.
Our family lawyers can advise you on the best approach to apply for a lives with order based on your specific circumstances. We provide clear explanations of how the court process works, realistic timeframes, and what evidence may strengthen your case. Every family situation is different, and the process can be complex depending on factors such as existing arrangements, any welfare concerns, and the other parent’s position.
We guide clients through every stage, from initial MIAM attendance through to final hearings where necessary. Whether you are seeking a lives with order, a spends time with order, or exploring whether a shared lives with order might benefit your children, our family law experts can help you understand your options.
Contact Kabir Family Law today on 0330 094 5880 to arrange your free initial consultation or book a time that suits you. Our family lawyers in Newcastle, Coventry, Nottingham, Cardiff, York, Manchester, Northampton, Oxford and London can provide the advice and guidance you need at a time that suits you.
8 of 58 guides — scroll sideways for more
Child Custody Specialists
Applying for a Child Contact Order
Sibling Contact Orders: Protecting the Bond Between Brothers and Sisters
Shared Custody Arrangements
Lives With Order vs Spends Time With Order
Step Parent Responsibility
Non-Resident Father: Rights, Responsibilities and Next Steps
Special Guardianship Orders
Short videos from the Kabir Family Law team, explaining family law in plain English.
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