Domestic Harassment: What Counts in Law and What You Can Do

Part of: Non Molestation Order

Domestic harassment means repeated, unwanted behaviour from a partner, ex-partner or relative that alarms or distresses you. Think of messages that never stop, calls late at night, or someone turning up wherever you are.

In England and Wales there is no separate crime with that name. Instead, the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 covers it, and because of your relationship the family court may also be able to step in. Our non-molestation order specialists assist and advise people who want it to stop.

This guide covers the law in England and Wales only.

Reviewed by: Hannah Overton, Complex Children Specialist & Client Support, Kabir Family Law

If you are in danger now, call 999 and ask for the police. If you cannot speak and are calling from a mobile, press 55 to have your call put through to the police. You can also call:

Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247, free, confidential and open 24 hours.

Men’s Advice Line, for male victims: 0808 801 0327.

National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300, weekdays, 9:30am to 4pm, or 8pm on Mondays and Wednesdays (GOV.UK).

GOV.UK also lists helplines for Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. If someone checks your phone, read this page on a device they cannot see.

What is domestic harassment?

It is the everyday name for harassment by someone you are, or were, close to. The law does not use the phrase, but your family tie decides which extra protection you can use. Examples include:

• dozens of calls, texts or voice notes a day, often late at night;
• turning up uninvited at your home, your work or the school gate;
• messages that reach you through your children, your family or a new partner;
• online threats, posts about you, or messages to your friends about you;
• new numbers and new accounts each time you block the last one.

One act on its own may not amount to domestic harassment in law. The repetition, and its effect on you, is what counts. If the behaviour also controls or isolates you, it may be controlling or coercive behaviour, which is a separate offence (Serious Crime Act 2015, s.76).

What is the legal definition of harassment?

The Act has no one-line definition; its meaning comes from section 1 and section 7:

• A course of conduct. The conduct must happen on at least two occasions.
• Words count. The Act says conduct includes speech.
• Alarm or distress. Harassing you includes alarming you or causing you distress.
• What they ought to know. It is enough that a reasonable person with the same information would see it as harassment, so “I didn’t mean it” is no answer on its own.
• A defence. The other person can defend it by showing, for example, that their conduct was reasonable.

Two incidents is only a starting point. Prosecution guidance says the fewer the incidents, and the wider apart they fall, the less likely a court is to find a course of conduct. Two messages a year apart may not be enough, while a steady run of contact is easier to link.

What counts as domestic harassment from a partner, ex or relative?

The harassment law applies to anyone, even a neighbour or a stranger. Your relationship is what makes the harassment domestic.

That matters because the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 counts abusive behaviour as domestic abuse when you are both 16 or over and share a close personal tie. Threatening behaviour and emotional abuse are on its list, and for that label one incident can be enough.

That tie covers current and former spouses, civil partners, fiancés and intimate partners. Parents of the same child and relatives count too (s.2).

In practice, harassment by an ex-partner might come from someone who will not accept the relationship is over. It might also be a partner who floods your phone, or a parent, sibling or in-law who keeps turning up.

It can reach you through other people. Prosecution guidance calls this harassment by proxy: conduct aimed at you via family members, new partners or others.

Children feel it too. The 2021 Act also treats a child as a victim if they see or hear the abuse, or experience its effects, and either of you is their parent, has parental responsibility for them or is a relative (s.3). If time with your children is in question, our guide to domestic abuse and child contact explains the family court’s approach.

Domestic harassment or stalking: what is the difference?

Stalking is harassment with an extra element: the acts involved are ones “associated with stalking” (Protection from Harassment Act 1997, s.2A). The Act’s examples include following you, contacting you or trying to, monitoring your internet or email use, loitering, interfering with your property, and watching or spying on you.

The label matters. Stalking that causes fear of violence, or serious alarm or distress with a substantial adverse effect on your daily life, carries up to ten years in prison (s.4A). There is also a civil stalking protection order, but only the police can apply for one (Stalking Protection Act 2019, s.1). Our stalking help page covers that route.

Is domestic harassment a crime?

It can be. Domestic harassment charges can come under four main offences in the 1997 Act, in sections 2, 2A, 4 and 4A:

• Harassment. The basic offence, tried only in a magistrates’ court (s.2).
• Stalking. Harassment through acts associated with stalking, also tried only in a magistrates’ court (s.2A).
• Fear of violence. Conduct that makes you fear, on at least two occasions, that someone will use violence against you. The maximum is ten years in prison (s.4).
• Stalking with fear of violence or serious distress. Also up to ten years in prison (s.4A).

Timing is a real trap. A prosecution for either magistrates’ court offence must start within six months (Magistrates’ Courts Act 1980, s.127), and prosecution guidance says the clock runs from the last incident. So if you are thinking of reporting, it helps not to wait too long.

After a conviction, the court can add a restraining order to protect you from further harassment (Sentencing Act 2020, s.360). A court can even make one after an acquittal, if it considers it necessary to protect you (s.5A).

How do you record domestic harassment safely?

A clear record turns a blur of messages into a pattern others can follow. Safety comes first, though: if the other person could find your notes, keeping them could put you at risk.

1. Keep the originals. Leave messages and voicemails where they are, and make sure screenshots show the sender, date and time.
2. Log each incident on the day. Note what happened, when and where, and who else saw or heard it.
3. Note the effect on you. Write down what it made you change, such as your route, your sleep or your work.
4. Store a copy somewhere safe. Send it to someone you trust, or keep it where the other person cannot reach it.
5. Keep every reference number. If you report anything, note the crime reference number and who you spoke to.

Our guide to social media evidence explains how family courts treat screenshots and posts. A log cannot tell you which parts matter most or how to put them before a judge; a specialist can.

What can you do to make domestic harassment stop?

There are three main legal routes, and sometimes you can use more than one.

In some areas only, a domestic abuse protection order is also available (GOV.UK lists the areas).

A promise is not an order. A court can accept a promise, called an undertaking, instead of making an order (FLA 1996, s.46). It must not do that in place of a non-molestation order where the other person has used or threatened violence and the court thinks an order is needed so that a breach can be punished as a crime.

Domestic harassment checklist: is your record on track?

A quick check on where you stand before you reply, report or apply. It is not a test and cannot tell you whether a court would act.

Frequently asked questions

General information about the law in England and Wales, not advice on your circumstances.

Expert Tip

A question we often hear is whether it is “bad enough” yet. People wait for one frightening incident while months of messages go unrecorded, yet the pattern often matters more. Start a dated log now, even if you are not sure you will use it. Then get advice before you report or apply, because each route has different rules on who it covers and what happens if someone breaks an order.

Iblal Iqbal, Partner & Family Law Strategist