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Success story
Days after he learned she had gone to court about their six-year-old son, her former partner messaged her at night. Drop the case by Friday, he wrote, or her private photos would go to her mother and her work group chat. This was intimate image abuse, and our family law specialists advised her what to do. Details are changed so no one can identify her.
A threat between messages about swimming kit
After the separation their son lived with her and saw his father most Saturdays, until doorstep handovers turned into rows. She applied for a child arrangements order so the court would set a routine.
Over two nights he wrote about photos she had sent him privately when they were together, then listed who would see them. An hour after the last threat, in the same thread, he asked if their son’s swimming kit was packed.
She sat up all night, ready to withdraw, then rang us in the morning. She did not know the threat had a name, image-based abuse, or that it can be a crime in itself.
Is threatening to share intimate images a crime?
It can be. Under section 66B(4) of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it is an offence to threaten to share a photograph or film that shows, or appears to show, someone in an intimate state. The person must intend them, or someone who knows them, to fear it will happen, or be reckless about that.
Sharing one without consent can be a separate offence. For a threat, section 66B(7) says the prosecution need not prove the photo exists.
The family court asks whether he sent the messages, and why. Section 1 of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 lists threatening behaviour and controlling or coercive behaviour as abusive, and one incident can be enough. Both people must be 16 or over and personally connected, which parents of one child are under section 2.
Practice Direction 12J also treats threats, humiliation and intimidation used to harm, punish or frighten someone as coercive behaviour. Between parents, intimate image abuse can be domestic abuse as well as a crime.
What we advised before Friday
First, we advised her not to reply and not to withdraw. Under rule 29.4 of the Family Procedure Rules, she could withdraw an application about a child only with the court’s permission, giving her reasons.
Next, we helped her screenshot each message with his number, date, time and the messages either side. We advised keeping the whole thread on the phone too, because screenshots alone are easier to attack. That evening she reported the threats to the police on 101 and got a crime reference number.
The next morning she applied on Form FL401 for a non-molestation order. An order can name particular acts under section 42(6) of the Family Law Act 1996. We helped her aim one term at the image-based abuse: he must not share, or threaten to share, any intimate photograph or film of her.
She asked for it without notice, so he had no warning, and the court made it. Once he knew of the order, breaking it without reasonable excuse was an offence under section 42A.
Intimate image abuse at the fact-finding hearing
At the first hearing he called the screenshots fake and said he had deleted any photos years ago. As he denied the threat, and it bore on whether contact was safe, the judge directed a fact-finding hearing.
We helped her set out the threat in her schedule, giving each message’s date, time and exact words beside its screenshot. She described the photos in one plain line, and nobody asked to see them.
She brought the phone, as we advised. The judge read the thread in order: each threat sat between his messages about Saturday handovers, from the number he used for every arrangement.
The threats proved, and what changed for their son
The judge accepted that he sent every message to make her fear the photos going out and abandon the case. Threatening to share intimate images that way was domestic abuse, whether or not any photo still existed.
After the findings, the court continued the non-molestation order for a year. Their son still lives with his mother. On alternate Saturdays his father collects him from swimming and brings him back to the leisure centre, so neither parent goes to the other’s door, and arrangements go through a co-parenting app. Every case differs, and this one predicts nothing about yours.
If an ex is threatening to share intimate images
If you are facing intimate image abuse in a court case, start today. Save every message with the number, date and time showing, keep the phone, and report it on 101, or 999 in an emergency. Keep to the deadlines in your latest order, whatever the messages demand.
Do not reply or pay, and never withdraw without advice. Tell the court about the threat on Form C1A, and ask whether a non-molestation order could name it. Our Malicious Communications Act guide covers other abusive messages.
“These threats depend on shame, so take back whatever control you can. If the message names someone, such as a parent, consider telling that person, briefly and in your own words, before they hear it from the other parent. If a friend or relative asks to see the photos to believe you, say no. The threat is in the messages, and every copy you send is another you cannot control.”
Hannah Overton, Complex Children Specialist & Client Support, Kabir Family Law
Afraid of what an ex might send?
If you are dealing with image-based abuse after a separation, speak to us before you reply. There is no charge for a first consultation, it is confidential, and you do not have to take things further. See how our success stories are put together.
The legal issue
A mother separated from her son's father, and handovers of their six-year-old turned into rows on her doorstep, so she applied for a child arrangements order. Days after he learned of the application, he sent messages over two nights threatening to send private photos of her to her mother and to colleagues in her work group chat unless she withdrew the case by Friday. She was ready to give in if it meant nobody saw them.
The law this rests on
- Sexual Offences Act 2003 s.66B(4): a person commits an offence if they threaten to share a photograph or film which shows, or appears to show, another person in an intimate state, with the intention that the person or another person who knows them will fear that the threat will be carried out, or being reckless as to whether they will. Sections 66B to 66D are in force in England and Wales from 31 January 2024.
- Sexual Offences Act 2003 s.66B(7): where a person is charged with threatening to share, the prosecution does not have to prove that the photograph or film mentioned in the threat exists.
- Sexual Offences Act 2003 s.66B(1) to (3): the separate offences of sharing such a photograph or film without consent.
- Domestic Abuse Act 2021 s.1(2) and (3): behaviour of one person towards another is domestic abuse if both are aged 16 or over, they are personally connected, and the behaviour is abusive. Abusive behaviour includes violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour and psychological, emotional or other abuse, and it does not matter whether it is a single incident or a course of conduct.
- Domestic Abuse Act 2021 s.2(1)(f) and (2): two people are personally connected if each has, or has had, a parental relationship to the same child, as a parent or a person with parental responsibility.
- FPR Practice Direction 12J para 3: coercive behaviour means an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten the victim.
- FPR Practice Direction 12J para 19(c)(i): the court considers whether, in addition to other evidence such as witness statements, the key facts in dispute can be contained in a schedule or table setting out what the applicant alleges, including details and/or examples of specific events and of any pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour.
- FPR Practice Direction 12J para 36(3): the court should make an order for contact only if it is satisfied that the physical and emotional safety of the child and the parent with whom the child is living can, as far as possible, be secured before, during and after contact, and that the parent with whom the child is living will not be subjected to further domestic abuse by the other parent.
- Family Procedure Rules r.29.4(1)(b) and (2) to (4): the rule covers applications under Parts 10 to 14, or under any other Part where the application relates to the welfare or upbringing of a child. Such an application may only be withdrawn with the permission of the court. The request must set out the reasons, in writing, or orally if the parties are present.
- Family Law Act 1996 s.42(1), (2)(a) and (6): a non-molestation order prohibits the respondent from molesting a person associated with them, or a relevant child. An associated person can apply, and the order may refer to molestation in general, to particular acts of molestation, or to both.
- Family Law Act 1996 s.42(7): a non-molestation order may be made for a specified period or until further order.
- Family Law Act 1996 s.62(3)(f) and (4): two people are associated if, in relation to a child, each is a parent of the child or has or has had parental responsibility for the child.
- Family Law Act 1996 s.42A(1) and (2): a person who without reasonable excuse does anything a non-molestation order prohibits is guilty of an offence. For an order made without notice, only conduct at a time when they knew of the order counts.
- Family Law Act 1996 s.45(1) to (3): the court may make a non-molestation order without notice where it considers it just and convenient, having regard to all the circumstances, including any risk of significant harm to the applicant or a relevant child if the order is not made immediately, and whether the applicant is likely to be deterred or prevented from pursuing the application if an order is not made immediately. It must then give the respondent an opportunity to be heard about the order at a full hearing as soon as just and convenient.
- GOV.UK, Form FL401: the form used to ask the court for a non-molestation order. If protection is needed immediately, an applicant can ask for an emergency order without telling the other person first (a without notice application).
- GOV.UK, Form C1A: the form used to tell the court about harm that a parent or child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.
How we approached it
We advised her not to answer him and not to withdraw. Her application concerned a child, so it could only be withdrawn with the court's permission. We helped her capture every message with his number, the date and the time on screen, and advised her to keep the full thread on the phone itself and delete nothing. She reported the threat to the police on 101 and kept the crime reference number.
Her Form FL401 went in the following morning, asking for a non-molestation order without notice so that he had no warning. We advised that route because his threat was meant to make her give up court proceedings, and section 45 of the Family Law Act 1996 has the court weigh whether an applicant is likely to be deterred or prevented from pursuing the application if an order is not made at once. We helped her word one term aimed at the photos: no sharing, and no threat to share, any intimate photo or film of her. With our help she also set out the threat on Form C1A.
When he claimed the screenshots were fake, a fact-finding hearing was listed. In her schedule we helped her give each message its own entry, with the date, time, exact words and matching screenshot, and the photos described in a single line. We advised her to bring the phone so the judge could read the thread from start to finish.
The outcome
The court made the non-molestation order without notice, with the term about intimate photographs and film, and later continued it for a year. At the fact-finding hearing the judge read the full thread on her phone and found that the father had sent the threats, meaning her to fear the photos would be shared, to make her give up the case. The judge found this was domestic abuse; his claim to have deleted the photos made no difference. The boy lives with his mother and spends every other Saturday with his father, who picks him up from his swimming lesson and returns him to the leisure centre, so neither parent comes to the other's door. Arrangements about their son are made through a co-parenting app. What the judge decided came from this family's evidence alone, and it promises nothing to anyone else.
What to take from this
- It is an offence under section 66B(4) of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 to threaten to share an intimate photo or film, if the person making the threat intends the victim, or anyone who knows the victim, to fear it will be carried out, or is reckless about that. The photo never has to be sent, and the prosecution does not have to prove it exists.
- Between parents, a threat like this can also be domestic abuse, so the family court can make findings about it at a fact-finding hearing.
- Do not reply, pay or agree to the demand. In a children case, an application can only be withdrawn with the court's permission, and the court will want reasons.
- Screenshot the words of every message so the number, date and time show, never the photos themselves, then keep the whole thread and the phone itself. Delete nothing, and do not send the photos on to anyone, even to prove the threat.
- Report it to the police on 101, or call 999 if you are in immediate danger, and keep the crime reference number.
- If an image is ever posted online, the Revenge Porn Helpline, listed on the government's Enough campaign pages, gives adults free, confidential help with reporting it and getting it removed.
- A non-molestation order can name a particular act, such as sharing or threatening to share intimate images, and breaching it without reasonable excuse is a crime under section 42A of the Family Law Act 1996.
- Use Form C1A to tell the court about the threat. In your schedule, give each message's date, time and exact words, and describe the photos in one plain line rather than producing them.
Checked and approved for publication by Garry Steedman.
Last reviewed .
