By 
Success story
When her daughter pulled off her woolly hat on the doorstep, there was a purple bruise the size of a 50p coin above one eyebrow. Her father had said she was shattered, then driven off. At bedtime her mother found a bruise on each shin. Next morning she typed a text cancelling Saturday, then called us before pressing send: my child came home with bruises and I am not sending her back.
Bruises on her child, and silence at the door
The girl’s parents split up when she was a baby. She lived with her mother, and a child arrangements order agreed a year earlier gave her father every weekend, Saturday morning to Sunday at five.
He had said nothing about the bruises, and their child was too young to explain much. By midnight her mother was sure he had hurt her. Yet by two she was blaming herself for doubting him.
Can you stop contact when there is a court order?
A child arrangements order made by a court carries a warning notice about breaking it (section 11I of the Children Act 1989), and the other parent can apply to enforce it on form C79.
Under section 11J, the court can order unpaid work, but only where a breach is proved beyond reasonable doubt. Section 11O also allows compensation for financial loss. However, the court can make neither order if it is satisfied the parent had a reasonable excuse, and the parent claiming that excuse must prove it.
So if your child came home with bruises and you stop the next visit, be ready to show what you checked and what it showed. Our guides to the reasons to stop child contact and a breach of a child contact order go further.
Four checks before Saturday
First, we advised her to spend the week finding out what had happened. On Monday the GP checked the child all over, measured the bruises and found no other injury.
Next came photographs in daylight, a ruler beside each mark, no filters. She kept the originals on her phone, which stores the date and time.
Then her daughter. We advised one open question: “What happened to your legs?” Asking “Did Daddy hurt you?” puts the answer in a small child’s mouth. She said, “I falled off my scooter. Daddy carried me.” Her mother wrote it down word for word, with the time, and asked nothing more.
Finally, because an accusation tends to get a defensive reply, we helped her message the father without blame: “She has bruises on her forehead and both shins. The GP has seen her. Can you tell me what happened?”
Letting the evidence decide
He replied within the hour. Their daughter had come off her scooter on a steep path in the park, landing on her forehead and shins. He had kept quiet at the door to avoid a row. He sent a photo taken that Saturday at twenty past three: the little girl on a bench with a carton of juice and a red lump above her eyebrow.
His account fitted the bruises on their child, what the GP had found and her own words. As a result, we advised that she had no reasonable excuse to keep her daughter home, and contact went ahead that Saturday.
We suggested one change: a short handover note in each direction about falls, medicine, sleep and anything that worried their daughter. The father sent the first one himself: “Tired. Ate well. Grazed her elbow on the trampoline, cleaned it.”
We have altered details to keep the family private. Other facts could lead to a different answer. See how we put these success stories together.
When bruises after contact become a safeguarding matter
The evidence could have pointed the other way. For example, the explanation might not have matched where the bruises were, or might have kept changing. He might have refused to answer, or her daughter might have said someone hurt her. A worried doctor would have changed things too.
If your child came home with bruises and any of that applied, keep your child with you and call children’s social care or the police that day (999 if they are at immediate risk). Then take advice on varying the order with form C100. The court puts your child’s welfare first (section 1(1)).
If your local council has reasonable cause to suspect that your child is suffering, or is likely to suffer, significant harm, section 47 requires it to make enquiries. Our social services investigation guide explains what follows.
If your child came home with bruises today
Ask a GP to record the bruises on your child today, and photograph them in daylight beside a ruler. Keep the originals unedited.
Note your child’s own words about the marks, and when. Unless they say someone hurt them, ask the other parent once, in writing, and keep the reply.
Read your order, and keep your child back only with a reasonable excuse you could prove. Keep it all off social media.
“Weigh the other parent’s answer by its detail. A real accident usually comes with a time, a place, sometimes another adult who saw it happen. If you cannot tell whether the answer fits the marks, ask the GP: that is a medical judgement. When you photograph a bruise, frame only the mark and stop if your child gets upset, because repeated checking can frighten a small child.”
Hannah Overton, Complex Children Specialist, Kabir Family Law
Unsure about the next handover?
If there are bruises on your child and the next handover is days away, tell us what you found and what your order says. Your first consultation costs nothing and stays confidential, and we will tell you plainly where you stand.
The legal issue
A mother and father split up when their daughter was a baby. She lived with her mother, and a child arrangements order agreed a year earlier gave her father every weekend from Saturday morning until Sunday at five. After one weekend she came home with a bruise above her eyebrow and one on each shin, and her father had said nothing about them at the door. Her mother wanted to keep her home from the next visit, but she was worried about breaking the order.
The law this rests on
- Children Act 1989 s.11I: where the court makes or varies a child arrangements order, it attaches a notice warning of the consequences of failing to comply with the order.
- Children Act 1989 s.11J(2): if the court is satisfied beyond reasonable doubt that a person has failed to comply with a provision of a child arrangements order, it may make an enforcement order imposing an unpaid work requirement.
- Children Act 1989 s.11J(3) and (4): the court may not make an enforcement order if it is satisfied that the person had a reasonable excuse for failing to comply. The burden of proving the excuse lies on the person claiming it, and the standard is the balance of probabilities.
- Children Act 1989 s.11O(2) and (3): if an individual has failed to comply with a provision of a child arrangements order and a person within subsection (6) has suffered financial loss by reason of the breach, the court may order the individual to pay that person compensation for the loss. It may not do so if it is satisfied that the individual had a reasonable excuse, and under s.11O(4) the burden of proving the excuse lies on the individual claiming it.
- Children Act 1989 s.1(1): when a court determines any question about the upbringing of a child, the child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration.
- Children Act 1989 s.47(1)(b): where a local authority has reasonable cause to suspect that a child who lives, or is found, in its area is suffering, or is likely to suffer, significant harm, it must make the enquiries it considers necessary to decide whether to take action to safeguard or promote the child's welfare.
- Form C79 (GOV.UK): the form used to apply to enforce a child arrangements order.
- Form C100 (GOV.UK): the application form for child arrangements, prohibited steps and specific issue orders. GOV.UK says the same form can be used to ask the court to vary or discharge an order.
How we approached it
We advised her to find out what had happened before deciding anything. She took her daughter to the GP that Monday and asked for each mark to be examined and recorded. On our advice, she photographed each mark in daylight with a ruler for scale and no filters, and kept the originals unedited on her phone. With her daughter, we advised one open question and no leading questions, with the answer written down word for word and timed. We helped her write a short message to the father, with no blame in it, asking what had happened. We explained the warning notice on the order, enforcement under sections 11J and 11O of the Children Act 1989, and that she would have to prove any reasonable excuse for keeping her daughter back. We also set out what would turn it into a safeguarding matter and what she should do then.
The outcome
The father replied within the hour. Their daughter had come off her scooter on a steep path in the park on the Saturday afternoon, landing on her forehead and shins, and he sent a photo taken at the time showing the lump above her eyebrow. His account matched the GP's notes, the photos and the child's own words, so we advised that she had no reasonable excuse to keep her daughter home, and contact went ahead that Saturday. The parents now send a short handover note in each direction about falls, medicine, sleep and anything that worried their daughter. The order stayed as it was. Different facts could lead to a different result.
What to take from this
- Get any bruises seen by a GP as soon as the surgery opens, and ask for each one to be recorded.
- Photograph bruises in daylight with a ruler beside them, and keep the originals unedited.
- Ask your child one open question, write down the answer exactly with the time, and avoid leading questions.
- Unless your child says someone hurt them, ask the other parent what happened, once and in writing, without blame.
- A child arrangements order made by a court carries a warning notice. If you keep a child back without a reasonable excuse, the other parent can apply on form C79 for an enforcement order or compensation for financial loss, and the burden of proving the excuse is on you.
- If the explanation does not fit, keeps changing or is refused, or your child says someone hurt them, keep your child safe, tell the police or children's social care (999 if your child is at immediate risk), and take advice on varying the order with form C100.
- A short handover note in each direction can stop a worry turning into a dispute.
Checked and approved for publication by Iblal Iqbal.
Last reviewed .
