Success story
By Iblal Iqbal“Does the family court have to wait for the police?” A mother asked us that after weeks of calls about her former partner’s application to see their four-year-old son. Then she told us why. He had raped her during their last year together. Nobody had been charged, and an independent sexual violence advisor (ISVA) was supporting her.
What she had kept to herself
They had separated seven months earlier. He wanted alternate weekends with overnight stays. Her reply to the court said only that he had tracked her phone and rung her workplace whenever she was late home.
She had reported the rape to the police six weeks before, and an ISVA had supported her since. Her work rota showed three sick days the week it happened, and weeks later he had texted: “I know I went too far that night.”
Her ISVA had encouraged her to tell us. She feared that raising it now would look like a tactic to stop contact, or harm the police case.
Can the family court decide before the police do?
Yes. In section 1, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 names sexual abuse as a form of domestic abuse. A single incident counts. Practice Direction 12J adopts that definition for children cases. It also requires the court to consider abuse at every stage, so it was not too late.
The family court asks a civil question: on the balance of probabilities, did it happen? A finding needs no charge or conviction. Her ISVA expected the investigation to take months, and section 1(2) of the Children Act 1989 says delay in deciding is likely to prejudice the child’s welfare.
Where an independent sexual violence advisor fits in the family court
Under Practice Direction 27C, she was entitled to her ISVA’s support at every hearing she attended, unless the judge ruled that out in the interests of justice.
An ISVA is not her lawyer or a McKenzie friend. Statutory guidance for the role says they should not give legal advice. Her ISVA should also avoid discussing the facts with her, since she may become a criminal trial witness, to guard against any claim of coaching.
Putting the allegation before the judge
She filed a C1A form telling the court about the harm, and we helped her word it. The judge then ruled a fact-finding hearing necessary. The order asked for a short table of her allegations and the father’s answers.
We helped her keep to two entries. The first described the rape in one plain sentence, with the month it happened. The second set out the tracking and the calls to her work as one pattern of controlling behaviour.
The judge directed the police to disclose their records of her report and his interview. Our police evidence in family court page explains how such requests work.
When his lawyer asked for her ISVA’s notes, we advised her to object. Her ISVA shared information only with her consent, apart from safeguarding, and had never discussed the evidence with her. The judge decided the notes were not required.
Giving evidence with her ISVA at her side
Once her C1A had told the court of the abuse, Family Procedure Rule 3A.2A required it to assume that the quality of her evidence and her participation were diminished, and to consider participation directions. She asked early for a screen, one of the special measures, and for separate times to arrive and leave.
Her ISVA sat next to her, passed her a glass of water once, and never spoke for her.
What the judge made of his message
He said the message was about an argument, and denied both allegations. The judge accepted her account and found both proved: his message was hard to read any other way, and her sick days and a later GP note about poor sleep fitted the timing.
For now, the father sends a card or letter each fortnight, which she reads to their son. The judge directed him to attend a programme addressing his violent behaviour, and set a review once that programme and a Cafcass report are finished. The police investigation is still open, and her ISVA still supports her.
A judge decides each case on its own evidence, so yours may end differently. She let us share her account, with identifying details left out.
If an ISVA is supporting you now
Check your latest order for the next hearing date and your statement deadline. If the court does not yet know about the abuse, ask us about Form C1A. Gather records made at the time, such as work absence or GP entries. Keep the original messages and the phone, and delete or edit nothing.
Before each hearing, tell the court in writing that you want your ISVA there, and have them send their name and organisation. Ask early for special measures and for separate arrival times. Do not question your child about the abuse. Keep the case off social media, and take advice before agreeing any new arrangement with the other parent.
“Your family statement and your police account may one day be compared, because either parent can pass a family judgment to the police for a criminal investigation.
Write only what you remember, in your own words, and say when you are unsure. If a new detail comes back to you, tell the officer dealing with your case. An ISVA who hears it is expected to note it and tell the police.”
Hannah Overton, Complex Children Specialist & Client Support, Kabir Family Law
Police case still open and a hearing ahead?
An independent sexual violence advisor can support you through the police process, and our family law specialists can advise you on the children case. A first consultation is free and confidential, and you decide whether to go further. Our approach to success stories sets out how we write accounts like this.
The legal issue
Seven months after they separated, the father made a court application to have their four-year-old son on alternate weekends, with overnight stays. The mother's first response to the application mentioned only his tracking of her phone and his calls to her workplace when she was late home. Weeks into the case, she told us for the first time that he had raped her in the final year of their relationship. She had reported it to the police six weeks earlier, no one had yet been charged, and she had support from an independent sexual violence advisor (ISVA). She worried that raising it in the children case might be seen as a ploy to stop contact, or might harm the police investigation.
The law this rests on
- Domestic Abuse Act 2021 s.1(2) and (3): behaviour between people aged 16 or over who are personally connected is domestic abuse if it is abusive, which includes physical or sexual abuse, whether it is a single incident or a course of conduct.
- FPR Practice Direction 12J para 2A: domestic abuse has the same meaning as in the 2021 Act.
- PD12J para 5: at all stages of the proceedings, the court must consider whether domestic abuse is raised as an issue.
- PD12J paras 16 and 17(h): the court decides as soon as possible whether a fact-finding hearing is necessary, including whether a separate hearing would be necessary and proportionate.
- PD12J para 19(c): the court considers whether the key facts in dispute can go in a schedule or table that sets out the allegations, focuses on the issues to be tried and records the respondent's reply.
- PD12J para 19(f): the court considers whether documents are needed from third parties such as the police, health services or domestic abuse support services; for police disclosure it refers to the current protocol on disclosure between family and criminal agencies.
- PD12J para 10: where the court is told that special arrangements are needed to protect a party attending a hearing, it must ensure so far as practicable that they are made, including waiting arrangements and arrangements for entering and leaving the court building.
- PD12J para 29: the court records its findings in writing in a schedule to the order.
- Practice Direction 27C paras 1.2 to 1.4, 3.1 and 4.1: an ISVA is an independent adviser who works with people who have experienced rape and sexual assault. Their support can include information, practical and emotional support and explaining the court process, but an ISVA is not the party's lawyer or McKenzie friend. A party receiving ISVA support has the right to it at any hearing, unless the court directs otherwise in the interests of justice. Where possible, the ISVA identifies themselves to the court in advance, with their name, their organisation, an assurance that they understand the proceedings are confidential, and confirmation that the party wants them there.
- Independent Sexual Violence Adviser Statutory Guidance (Ministry of Justice, 2025, issued under section 16 of the Victims and Prisoners Act 2024) paras 27, 29 and 31 and the court support table: ISVAs should not give legal advice; supporters should avoid discussing the facts and evidence with a victim who will be a witness in a criminal case; ISVAs should share information only with the victim's consent, subject to safeguarding; an ISVA may sit next to the victim in court but must not speak for them or interrupt the hearing.
- The same guidance, practice notes after para 30 and Figure 3: while a criminal case is ongoing, the ISVA tells the victim that the ISVA has a responsibility to note what is said and tell the police if the victim discloses previously undisclosed in-depth details or evidence about the case. In the family court, the victim tells court staff by email or letter that they want an ISVA present, and the ISVA gives their name, their organisation and confirmation that they understand the proceedings are confidential.
- FPR r.3A.2A(1) and (3): where a party is stated to be a victim of domestic abuse carried out by another party, the court must assume that the quality of their evidence and their participation are diminished, and must consider whether participation directions are necessary.
- FPR r.3A.8(1)(a): the measures include preventing a party or witness from seeing another party or witness.
- FPR Practice Direction 3AA para 4.2: beyond the rule 3A.8 measures, the court may use its general case management powers, for example letting the parties enter the court building by different routes and use different waiting areas.
- FPR Practice Direction 12G para 2.1: a party may give a police officer the text or a summary of all or part of a judgment in the proceedings, for the purpose of a criminal investigation.
- Children Act 1989 s.1(1) and (2): the child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration, and any delay in deciding is likely to prejudice it.
- Children Act 1989 s.11A: while considering provision about contact, the court may make an activity direction, including a programme that may, by addressing a person's violent behaviour, enable or facilitate involvement in a child's life. Under s.11A(7), the court may not make an activity direction and finally decide those matters on the same occasion.
- Form C1A (GOV.UK): used to tell the court about harm that you or a child have suffered or are at risk of suffering, or to respond to allegations.
- How the family court decides facts: for each allegation, the judge decides whether it is more likely than not that it happened (the balance of probabilities). A finding does not depend on a criminal charge or conviction.
How we approached it
We explained that the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 counts sexual abuse as domestic abuse, that the court must consider abuse at every stage of a case, and that a family judge can make findings without waiting for a charge. She then filed Form C1A, which we helped her to word. Once a fact-finding hearing was fixed and the order called for a table of allegations and replies, we helped her limit it to two entries: the rape, stated plainly with its month, and the phone tracking and workplace calls as one pattern of controlling behaviour.
The police were directed to provide the record of her report and of his interview. When the father's lawyer sought disclosure of the ISVA's records, we advised her to resist the request: an ISVA shares information only with the victim's consent, apart from safeguarding, and hers had kept clear of the evidence. The judge agreed the records were not required. Her ISVA gave her support, and we gave the legal advice. Well before the hearing, she requested a screen as a special measure, and separate arrival and departure times. Her ISVA, having given the court their details in advance as Practice Direction 27C expects, sat beside her while she gave evidence.
The outcome
The father denied both allegations, saying his message referred to an argument. The judge accepted the mother's account: his message could hardly mean anything else, and her three sick days and a GP entry about poor sleep matched the timing. Both allegations were found proved and recorded in a schedule to the order. Contact is indirect for now, with a card or letter from the father every fortnight. He must take part in a programme aimed at his violent behaviour, and a review will follow that programme and a Cafcass report. The police investigation remains open, and her ISVA still supports her. Each family's evidence is different, so this outcome guarantees nothing for another case.
What to take from this
- Sexual abuse is domestic abuse, and a family judge can make findings without waiting for a criminal charge.
- Raising abuse part way through a case is not too late, because the court must consider at every stage whether abuse is raised. Ask about Form C1A.
- Keep each entry in the table of allegations short, plain and focused on what the court has to decide.
- If you want your ISVA at a hearing, say so to the court in advance, and ask the ISVA to give the court their name and organisation and confirm you want them there.
- Your ISVA supports you but does not give legal advice, so get legal advice on the children case.
- Request special measures early, such as a screen, and ask for separate times for arriving and leaving.
- Keep the crime reference number and the officer's name to hand, so the court can direct the police to provide their records.
- Collect records created at the time, for example sick leave records or GP entries. Keep original messages and your phone; do not delete or edit anything.
- Do not question your child about the abuse, stay off social media about the case, and get advice before you agree any change with the other parent.
Checked and approved for publication by Hannah Overton.
Last reviewed .
